When I told 2011 to “bring it on” I didn’t anticipate just how intently the universe was listening! We’re not even one month into the new year, and my life is in major flux. Only a week into the new year I was informed that I would have 60 days to move out of my current home. After throwing a mild tantrum about this, I came to accept it and went about the search for somewhere else to live. Being the over-achiever that I am, I found a new place 2 days into my search (I can’t help it - I’m a planner. I don’t like leaving things to chance!) Had I known that the universe was accepting requests, then I may have started the new year with wishing for world peace or ending starvation. On a more selfish level, I may also have asked to become invincible, win the lottery, or have Mr. Right sent my way. But alas, in my zeal I stuck with BRING IT ON. And oh boy, has 2011 fulfilled that request already!
Boxes full of stuff seem to be multiplying like rabbits in my living room. I am currently in that limbo place known as packing hell. I typically enjoy packing, but when you get to that point where there are boxes everywhere and yet more stuff that needs to somehow find its way into boxes, you kind of get over it. With that said, I am an expert packer. I should be, I’ve certainly moved enough over the years to have plenty of practice! And yes, I have moving stories to share…
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| No joke, this is the current state of my living room! |
Places that I’ve lived
In my 30 years I have lived in two countries over two continents (the UK and USA), five different states (Kentucky, Ohio, New York, Vermont and California), and ten different cities/towns (I‘m feeling too lazy right now to list them all!) Phew. During that time I’ve moved 18 times. The longest duration in any one place spanning over a decade, and the shortest duration being 6 weeks. Needless to say, each time that I now move I utter the mantra “I am NOT moving again for a LONG time!” But, alas life, animal infestations, and month-to-month leases have a way of messing up your plans.
The Bat Cave
One of my most negative experiences with moving happened while living in Vermont. When I first moved to the States, the ex and I lived in this awesome loft apartment in a converted Woolen Mill. (If you know me, you’ll know that I have a thing for loft apartments - case in point, I’m moving out of one and into another next week!) The apartment was amazing, but it was kind of tiny. So I pushed for moving into a larger unit in the same complex. We found one that would work perfectly. The issue was that it was on the exact opposite end of the building from our current place (and moving from the top floor to the ground floor too). It literally was a quarter mile walk from one door to the other. That move took forever! If I had been wearing a pedometer, I probably would have walked the equivalent of a marathon! So, we eventually get moved in and I get to work over the next few weeks unpacking and decorating.
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| I thought this place was super cool and unique. My parents, not so much. My Dad likened it to a prison! |
One month into our stay in the new place we discovered that we were not the only tenants. A lone bat appeared one day (in the MIDDLE of the day I might add) and was flying around the living room like a lunatic. Me (being a girl), did the only reasonable thing that I could when presented with a potentially rabid bat, and ran screaming out the front door. (The irony that you have to leave your house to feel safe was not lost on me). I’m not quite sure how the maintenance guys and my ex got rid of the bat, but they did. After assurances from the leasing staff that this was a bizarre one off, I calmed down and went about the continued unpacking. One week later, I’m sitting looking out of the window at the torrential rain coming down. All of a sudden this giant gush of water comes pouring down the hillside heading straight for our patio doors. And then sure enough it starts to come through the seams on the doors and windows and right into the living room. The ex is freaking out about the electrics and trying to move them away from the water coming in, and I am just freaking out in general. I run out the front door to find a maintenance man, and there is a freakin’ dead bat lying at the front door. That was it. I snapped. “That’s it! We’re moving! I can’t live in this bloody Bat Cave anymore!” So that it the story behind how I once lived somewhere for a 6 week period. There is nothing worse than moving immediately after you have just moved, unpacked everything, and then threw away all of your boxes. I should know.
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| The sign posts that should have lead the way to the "Bat Cave", Winooski, Vermont! |
Damn rat ate my Harry Potter book
When I first moved to California 3 years ago the lure of having an ocean view was just too much. So the ex and I in our infinite wisdom splurged on renting a fabulous place in San Clemente in the heart of the pier bowl. The first thing that I learned about this is that having a fantastic view makes you lazy. Very lazy. Why walk down to the beach when you can admire it from your balcony? Needless to say, friends and relatives loved coming to visit us, and frequently did.
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| Look at that view! It was a rather amazing place to live... at least for a little while! |
All was well, and it was a great place to live until yet again, we discovered that we were not alone. I was standing brushing my teeth at night when I noticed something moving out of the corner of my eye. It looked like a snake’s tail. So, of course I did what I always do when faced with unwelcome little critters. I leapt on top of the bed and started shrieking like a maniac. After calming down somewhat and now armed with a pair of big clunky knee high boots on my feet, we discovered that there is a hole under the bathroom cabinet that the “snake” has slithered into. A call to the landlord and animal control was useless. It was 10pm on a Saturday night, and nobody was prepared to help until noon the next day. “Block off the hole” is the only advice that we were given. So I grabbed some duck tape to cover the hole, and all of my Harry Potter books and wedged them into place until they didn’t budge. That night neither of us got much sleep. Our “snake” was a noisy little critter who kept us up all night. In the morning we got up and looked down at the book barricade, only to see that was no longer acting as a barricade. The books had been pushed aside and one of my books had been chewed right through. “Ah, it seems we have a rat” observed the ex. “OH MY GOD! We have a rat?!? What the hell did it do to my Harry Potter book?!?!” I shrieked.
Fast forward a few hours, and we have a rat terminator giving us all sorts of information that we DO NOT want to hear. Namely, that we likely have a family of rats living with us, and that they are in the walls, and that we just need to set up rat traps and deal with it. So that’s what we do. I am now by this time an expert on finding and removing rat poo, and I refuse to walk about in bare feet at any time. I’m getting so freaked out that I feel like I am going to become a full blown obsessive-compulsive with cleanliness! Thankfully we were flying out of State for the weekend to go visit the in-laws. We caught one rat before we left, and were glad to be residing in a rat-free residence for a few days. Upon return, our flight got canceled and then the next one was delayed, and then our bags didn’t show up. We got back home at 3am with work to go to in the morning. Upon entering the apartment we were assaulted with a terrible odor. “What the hell is that smell?” I asked while trying not to gag. Yup, it was a dead rat in the bedroom that had been cooped up indoors for a couple of days. Let me tell you, I had a few choice curse words to utter at that moment. Needless to say, that we didn’t last much longer in that place, and as soon as our lease was up we were out of there!
Moving on...
So I am hopeful that my new place will be free from unwelcome little critters. The only pet that I intend to have is a cute, fluffy little dog. All I need to do is get moved, settled, and then find one to adopt. Speaking of which, I really should stop procrastinating and start packing! I’m moving in less than a week… I have work to do! 2011... Be kind to me please. I’ve had enough drama so far this month!
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